Pain, Grace, Gain & Change - How to deal with Pain without Reliving the Experience. By Esther Simeon8/22/2013 You don’t have to be over 30, 40 or 50 to realize that life sometimes comes with some level of pain. Pain can be in form of painful memories, childhood trauma or events, neglect, rejection, abuse, disappointment, betrayal, loss and much more. Any of these can happen to a child, a teenager, an adult, man or woman, a boy or a girl. We live in an imperfect world, however when we experience any of these unpleasant events how do we prevent them from holding us captive, how do we prevent past traumas from assaulting our minds and emotions and from holding our lives captive? There is one common ground for all people nobody wants to experience pain, if given a choice people will run from painful experiences as far as possible. Although most people can live a relatively normal life without being constantly aware, reminded or feel any emotional pain, however an unpleasant event can trigger a downward spiral of what was otherwise the perfect picture on the outward, resulting in emotional outburst, pain, and cries especially for women. Pain can result in anger, regrets, sorrow, looking for someone or something to blame for the pain, some people could even go as far as planning a revenge to inflict pain on others, this is clearly not the right approach to dealing with pain. Pain If something happen, that triggers the memory of a very painful past experience, rather than dive right in to the memory of the past and relive the painful experience in your mind. Take a quick five seconds count to snap out of that emotional state of pain, quickly remind yourself, it could have been worse, you are alive today by the grace of God. This is not denying the existence of the pain, but this is allowing you to keep things in perspective, take control over your emotional state, and not to relive the pain nor give in to the emotions and memory of it. Grace Quickly move from Pain into Grace. Grace is unmerited favor, unmerited forgiveness, unmerited mercy, unmerited unconditional love. Moving into grace means that rather than feeling angry and resentful towards the person or thing you held responsible for your pain, you allow the grace of God to wash over you. Then you release grace, mercy and forgiveness to others. You can even say what Jesus said “Father forgive them for they know not what they were doing”. This gives you a sense of power and control over your emotions. Gain Moving from Pain to Grace to Gain. Analyze the Gain. Whenever we experience something painful, we become more sensitive in that area and we are quick to identify others who may be suffering what we have experienced in the past and overcome. Hence we gain more sensitivity, discernment, compassion, understanding, wisdom, caution and much more as a result of the painful experience. The stage of analyzing gain is very important to see something good about yourself as a result of the past painful experience. Whatever was meant for evil against you, God turned it around for your good; keep this in mind and rest assured. Change Changing our response to pain is very important. Rather than relive the past, we can identify the fact that we are not the same person who was subjected to that abuse, we have moved on, we are not the child that was molested, we are now a grown up adult able to make our own decision, we are not the same. When the feelings, emotions and memory tries to trap and tie you to the past, repeat the 4 steps, Pain, Grace, Gain & Change. Then make a few minutes to pray prayers of affirmations & requests. Prayer: I pray for the healing power of God to flow through me, heal my heart and mind, heal my memory, heal me in every single area, where there was emotional wounds. Jesus came to heal the broken hearted and to bind up their wounds. I pray for the balm of Gilead and the healing anointing of Jesus Christ to flow into every deep path of my heart, mind, memory, spirit, soul and body, on the conscious and subconscious layers. I release total forgiveness to the people who hurt me. Jesus you died for all past, present and future sins, so I release and forgive all the past present and future sins of the people or person that hurt me. I will no longer be held captive or prisoner to past events. I pray and make this request through the name of Jesus Christ. Amen Affirmations: I am not my past, I refuse to live in the past, I am free from every pain of the past, I am released from every pain of the past, I forgive and release the offenders, I release myself from every hurt, wounds, and anger; I disengage with habitual negative memory recall, I will not live in the past, I have a great life now, I focus on my life as it is now and the future. Jesus experienced pain on every level imaginable. He had the sins and the penalty of the sin of the whole world placed on his shoulder, not only for the sins committed up to the point of his death and resurrections, but all past, present and future sins were carried by Him to the cross. If he only died for all sins up to the time of his death and resurrection, you and I will not have any hope of forgiveness, but because His sacrifice extend beyond the past present future and eternity, you and I and the people yet to be born, have hope of a savior, healer, forgiver, and a restorer. Key Points Pain = Acknowledge the Pain without reliving the experience Grace= Receive Grace and Release Grace Gain= You are a better Person, Wiser, Smarter, More sensitive, Discerning and much more Change= Choose your response to pain sensation. Change from victim to a victor Conclusion Pain has to be dealt with on several levels: Spiritual level, Psychological level, Emotional level, and Physiological level. This article is an introduction to subject of dealing with Pain, I plan to release other articles, journals, book and training manuals that will address this topic in more depth. How to handle a serial offender, bully or abuser Sometimes we find it difficult to forgive a repeat offender, because even though you forgive this person, they somehow keep repeating the actions knowingly or unknowingly that hurts you. So this is like a vicious cycle. In such instances it’s important to develop a ‘thick skin’ carefree, water off the duck back approach, and totally minimize the words or actions of the offender. Hence you gain the power back, by refusing to be a victim and begin to develop the mentality of a victor, who is smarter, wiser and more powerful than the bully. Another approach is direct communication, without shouting or emotional outbursts, you state clearly and objectively what the repeated abuser is doing that hurt you, how their action made you feel, and request that they change their action. Direct communication should only be attempted in cases where you do not feel physically threatened or in danger. If this approach fail to work, choose to forgive them personally, and make attempt to remove yourself from the abusive situation. Since every situation is completely different, one method may not work in all situations. However if you feel you are continuously been subject to abuse, you should seek personal professional counsel to deal with the situation.
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Fear is a trick to get us out of our place of safety and comfort in Christ. The absence of fear produces rest, security and safety. Fear is very destructive and damaging to our emotional and physical health. Fear creates chaos, disorder, confusion, anxiety, discomfort, and dis-ease, which is where the word disease comes from. Jesus said, my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. We have all been erroneously taught that for something to be worth it or successful it has to be done with ‘hard labor and sweat’. This is very far from the truth for a new creation saint, who has been delivered from the curse of the law. Yes, we should work diligently and put good effort in whatever profession or field we find ourselves, but our primary way of thinking must be to ask for and rely on the blessings and grace of God, that will make rich without adding sorrow to our life. Proverbs 10:22 The blessing of the LORD, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it. God said he will bless us and He will bless the works of our hands. We do not have to be fearful or afraid; we do not have to be worried, concerned and anxious about any area of our lives. We must learn to enter and stay resting in God no matter what storm may be raging. Jesus slept during the storm he was calm, he woke up and rebuke the storm and there was a total calm and peace, that amazed his disciples. Fear is a trick to get us out of our place of safety and comfort in Christ. The absence of fear produces rest, security and safely. Fear is very destructive and damaging to our emotional and physical health. Fear creates chaos, disorder, confusion, anxiety, discomfort, and dis-ease, which is where the word diseases comes from. If you want to live long and healthy make a conscious decision not to tolerate any form of fear in your conscious and subconscious mind. A lot of fears are rooted in irrational negative thinking while other fears are rooted in a lack of trust factors. What we think and say affects our state of mind, peace and wellness. As a man thinks so is he, we can change our thinking to have a difference outcome. You are what you say you are; you can change your confession about what you say you are to see a different outcome. Everything in life has ‘ON’ and ‘OFF’ switch. You can turn on faith, and turn off fear. The way it works is, when you turn off fear you automatically turn on faith. There are two sides to a coin; you have to decide which side you are looking at, head or tail? You have the power to choose. Learning to trust God and walk in Power over Fear We cast our cares upon God for He cares for us. It’s not by power, it’s not by might, but by the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit that enables and empowers us to succeed. Promotion does not come from the east, west, south or north, promotion comes from the Lord, so rest in God’s favor. It is not of him that wills or runs, but it’s of the Lord that shows |
Esther Simeon
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